If you feed it, It will grow

8 Nov

Where we began

This is what brings me daily joy. Everything that I do is to make this family grow.

With that being said, I started this blog years ago or so it seems, with just a few random blog post about things here and there I thought were worth talking about or writing about. Little did I know how well we would grow.

I have had many issues come up in the last year that mainly dealt with how I viewed life, and what I could do to make it better. All the While it has been sitting in front of me.

I have spent many nights laying awake worried about how to pay the bills, get Olivia to school, and maintain a relationship with her as a mom while working multiple jobs at once, sending her to school in the mornings and not seeing her till late at night. All I have had in mind is to prove everyone wrong….Who ever that is. And to show I can and will do it all on my own.

In reality I have received more support and love, that at times, I could ever need or want. In the time that I have spent working, going, to school, and just trying to make it, Olivia has had a village surrounding her. She has had unconditional love from her grandparents, aunts, uncles, best friends, and the most amazing boyfriend one could dream of.  In the almost 4 short years she has been in this world, she has received more support and love that one could ever imagine.

This brings me back to the thought of  “if you feed it, it will grow.” My one and only goal in life is to succeed for my daughter. To teach her how important it is to know her worth, to get an education, and to love herself above all others. Here I am stubbornly trucking along, pushing people away to show that I can do this on my own, hoping to give her some triumphant speech of how hard we struggled, and how far we have come, but that is not what I really want to tell her, and now I really refuse to use that story at all.

I want her to know “If you feed it, It will grow.” I want her to know that no matter what, there are people all around you cheering you on weather you want it or  not to help you every step of the way. You will learn what “struggle” is, but it will never be so hard that you cannot grow. For every time you feel you are falling behind, or that you have to prove some huge point, all you are doing is giving your self and others around you the tools you need to grow.

And here we are now. We have the most magnificent life. It is simple and modest; one would say nothing to boast about. But I will boast because I have grown. I have given her tools to grow, and I honestly cannot imagine how much different our lives would be without my share of drought; and with that I have honestly learned what I need. Now all I have to do is make sure I teach her.

What I live for!

Lately

7 Jun

Well, I have about 6 months left in school and its great to know that. Hopefully this wont be another one of my “well lets try this” and then I never follow through kind of things.  Currently I am in my 3rd of 5 phases…I am not doing so hot though. Reason being; I go 3 10 hour days, work another 30 hours at my other job, take care of Olivia and play clean house all day, everyday. . I know I can do it, but lately I have just been worn out. My main fall back in school now, is that I cannot get models in! I give great hair cuts, and wonderful color; but for some reason not a soul wants to get their hair done. Heck, it might take me an hour to cut your hair, but it will be the best hair cut you have had in a while! So, when someone asks “Sarah, how is school?” I think to my self ..Just peachy. If I could just get people in to get their hair done I would be doing as well as everyone else but meh.. what is there to do?

On to Olivia! Now at 2 1/2 she is the most sassy little lady you will ever meet . She loves to wear her “high heels”, they are little baby wedges, and her new favorite sandals that are white and with little rhinestones. She is incredibly smart. This morning we woke up with “Momma time to wake up!” To which I replied, only if you spell your name. She did it perfectly, gave me a kiss and we got out of bed. Everyday she amazes me with something. If she isn’t singing some new song, or telling me about her days using words such as “wonderful” “super” …my personal favorite “Yippee Ki-yay, I want to Grande-Jete.” Every day is a new adventure and it makes me happy to know I have the best little lady in the world to spend it with.

I haven’t written or blogged in so long that I feel like my writing abilities have dramatically decreased. I feel like it’s going to take me a while to get back into the swing of things.

Here is a little photo update of miss Olivia!

Miss Olivia!

hair done!

My sunshine

Happy as can be!

Spring Time

Long Time No Post

8 Feb

SO YUMMY SO YUMMY

So, I have been back in school since about October at Aveda Institute! I am thoroughly the most busy with school and Olivia!  I am so excited about my new adventures perusing my latest goal becoming a cosmetologist; however I can’t help but love to bake and I surely love to write.

So here we go I am back, I am baking, and excited!

Here is the Recipe for these lovely cookies!

1 cup of butter, softened

3/4 cup of sugar superfine ( I mixed granulated and powdered together)

2 tsp vanilla extract

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa

a pinch of salt

1/2 tbsp of baking soda

dark chocolate chips and white chocolate chips (pecans or almonds if you like)

while warm add powdered sugar on top!

This recipe in the book doesn’t call for the nuts or the baking soda, but with the little changes, I noticed a more fluffy cookie (more scone like). Also the recipe calls for dried cherries and well I don’t like cherries, so if that is your thing go for it!

These are great cookies with coffee or milk, a bit on the dry side and wonderful for dunking!

Back to school

22 Oct

Next Thursday I am starting school at Aveda. I am so excited to learn something and do something new. Even more so, I’m excited to start a new career. I have had my real estate license  for a year, and have managed to sell…..nothing. I am very aware that market conditions are a little different from what they were; but I got started a little late. That doesn’t mean I don’t plan on continuing in that field. It just means I have a lot of learning to do, and hopefully better market conditions to come back to.

In the mean time, I will be pursuing my career in cosmetology. I am so excited, both my mother and grandmother are cosmologists, so I am pretty sure it’s apart of my genetics. When  I was younger our house used to have a beauty salon connected to it, and after hours I would go in and cut and color my hair as often as I possibly could. I think I am so excited about it, because even though you are doing someones hair, it seems to release some sort of creative energy. I love arts and crafts, so I am hoping my daily job will feel like one big crafting day.

Once I’m finished with schooling at Aveda I plan on going to college. I want to get a major in journalism. Having a steady income and enjoying my job should make going back to school all the better. I am by no means saying that it will be easy, but I know I can do it.  My biggest goal is  for now  is to maintain a great GPA, potty train Olivia, and hopefully (at the lovely age of 22) move out of the bedroom I have had since I was 15. One of the only things on my mind lately is a house with wood floors and awesome furniture. Some days I feel like the Little engine that could possibly get over the hill and maybe do something better with her life, and have a lot of money (or just enough to not struggle) and travel the world, and have nice things and blahh blahh blahhh… The little engine that might….But then I realize I am almost there. Things just take time.

Mortified

20 Oct

For some reason this morning, I managed to scare myself silly when I had the realization that potty training is going have seemed oh so EASY compared to the trauma Olivia is going to put me through as a teenager.

As a toddler main concerns are usually a scrape on the knee, getting a schedule down, trying not to get sick, etc.. However, as a teenager, I will have to deal with things such as boys, and clothes, and self loathing, and mom loathing, and dirty rooms, and speeding tickets, and parties, and boys.. did I say boys. Some how I have a knot in my stomach that well, just wont go away.

I can see it now “Good morning Olivia, how are you?”  and the reply will be something like, “Ahhhhh shut up mom, my pants don’t fit, and my boyfriend just broke up with me. By the way I want to go out tonight…but you never let me do anything.” That is when I will curl up into a small ball and burrow into my blankets for about 2 minutes and then continue about my day, because that is what I will have to do.

Another one of my woahs this morning is the intense fear that Olivia will be plagued and overwhelmed with the need to be what is on tv and in magazines. Things aren’t the way they used to be; young girls wanting be like Amelia Earhart, Ida B Wells, Georgia O’Keefe, or Maria Montessori just to name a few. All of those women are wonderful role models and have done great things in history.

I just hope that even though I might not be the coolest mom in the world, that my daughter will see the example I set for her and that she will aspire to the brilliance of those women; and not what im mortified the future role models of her day will be……..

Day One!

19 Oct

Well Today is day one of my brand new blog, Oh Mamma. My story is simple, my daughter is a joy, and life is wonderful.

I decided to make this blog when I thought about all of the fun and silly things my daughter does. As well as all the fits (usually funny) and mishaps we encounter on a daily basis.

My daughter’s name is Olivia Marilyn. She can count to 15 and sing her Abc’s. She can speak in full sentences, and uses great manners. She has a few dolls she absolutely loves, she cannot live with out (on of them being her gossie doll my boyfriend made her). Her most recent favorite thing is this little toy her Meshi (grandmother) got her.  When you tip upside down sounds like a cow, one of her more loud toys I’d say… Olivia is also quite the artist. If she isn’t carrying around Gossie or her Mousie, she is  in deep thought coloring in her “Dora The Explorer” coloring book!

Of course since Olivia is my daughter, I think everything she does is the most amazing and adorable thing in the world. However, growing up I had no intentions of ever being a mom before I finished school, or had a career. My time in highschool I spent singing in musicals, planning my future as a journalist, who would write political rants and travel the world. I always said that if I had children I would adopt them, and we would live on the beach and never wear shoes! I also said that I would never get married. I was going through a rather feminist stage in my life where, I thought that marriage meant depending on your husband for your every need.

The funny thing about all of those thoughts, by 19 I was married and pregnant. I stopped going to school, and I quit working and stayed home for half of my pregnancy and almost the first year of her life. Depending solely on my husband at the time, when it came to income, security, and my need for some kind of odd self reassurance that, yes marriage at 19 and a baby was in fact a great idea.

After I had Olivia I stayed at home with her for about a year, doing the normal, cooking,  cleaning and what I like to call “moming”. Don’t get me wrong, I love every minute of it! I am actually really thankful for the way things have turned out. Olivia has never had a day of Daycare and never a day of a cold in the whole 2 years of her life! But, after a while of always being home with no outside interaction, I got a little itchy. I had to start school or work or something, just to get out of the house! Thus, I began Real Estate School, and got my License.

Shortly thereafter starting online schooling for Real Estate, I started working out again and pretending to do fun little arts and crafts projects with my two month old… (she slept, I crafted). I must say those were some of the best times of my life..(and still are). At around five months old Olivia’s “dad” came home from about 10 months of deployment overseas serving our country…and our female nurses…Thus why I am a proud single mamma.

After that whole mess, I broke out of my shell and got a job at a local coffee shop. I made two new friends right off the bat, and well since then we have been the best of friends. Oli and I have had an enormous amount of love and support in our lives. My parents (Mom, Step-Dad, and Dad)  have played in integral role in our lives, along with my grand parents, 2 sisters, my sister from another mister, my besties from the coffee shop and my old roommate! With the help of all of them and a ton more people, Olivia and I have breezed through the “rough patch” of the last year and a half; give or take.

About six months of no dating, and no love life. I ventured out to a Halloween party where I met my boyfriend of almost a year. He has been more than amazing. He has shown Olivia and I unconditional love and gone above and beyond what I ever thought the male species was capable of… thus, my boyfriend is a caring loving amazing person. He not only shows me the most love and affection, he loves my baby girl! We do park days together, arts and crafts, coloring, all around good times!(he even listens to my annoying rants about my daily dumb woahsss)  Olivia and I are truly blessed!

At the young age of two, I am more than sure Olivia knows what true love and affection is. She is continually showered with love from her Meshi and Pops, who have played a massively huge role in shaping her into the amazing toddler she is today!

In about a week, I am starting a new journey.. I am headed back to school. I will be attending Aveda Institute. I hope that through all of these minor struggles I stress about, that I can prove to be just as strong and as wonderful of a mother as my Mom and my Mimi.. I have some huge shoes to fill. Here is to hoping my feet keep on growing!

As this is my first post, I really plan on posting mainly about Olivia, finances, schooling, and well just my travels through motherhood. Who knows. Maybe someone will read this and I will become a great journalist one day.

I hope everyone finds the things I write about interesting!

Peace and Love!