This is what brings me daily joy. Everything that I do is to make this family grow.
With that being said, I started this blog years ago or so it seems, with just a few random blog post about things here and there I thought were worth talking about or writing about. Little did I know how well we would grow.
I have had many issues come up in the last year that mainly dealt with how I viewed life, and what I could do to make it better. All the While it has been sitting in front of me.
I have spent many nights laying awake worried about how to pay the bills, get Olivia to school, and maintain a relationship with her as a mom while working multiple jobs at once, sending her to school in the mornings and not seeing her till late at night. All I have had in mind is to prove everyone wrong….Who ever that is. And to show I can and will do it all on my own.
In reality I have received more support and love, that at times, I could ever need or want. In the time that I have spent working, going, to school, and just trying to make it, Olivia has had a village surrounding her. She has had unconditional love from her grandparents, aunts, uncles, best friends, and the most amazing boyfriend one could dream of. In the almost 4 short years she has been in this world, she has received more support and love that one could ever imagine.
This brings me back to the thought of “if you feed it, it will grow.” My one and only goal in life is to succeed for my daughter. To teach her how important it is to know her worth, to get an education, and to love herself above all others. Here I am stubbornly trucking along, pushing people away to show that I can do this on my own, hoping to give her some triumphant speech of how hard we struggled, and how far we have come, but that is not what I really want to tell her, and now I really refuse to use that story at all.
I want her to know “If you feed it, It will grow.” I want her to know that no matter what, there are people all around you cheering you on weather you want it or not to help you every step of the way. You will learn what “struggle” is, but it will never be so hard that you cannot grow. For every time you feel you are falling behind, or that you have to prove some huge point, all you are doing is giving your self and others around you the tools you need to grow.
And here we are now. We have the most magnificent life. It is simple and modest; one would say nothing to boast about. But I will boast because I have grown. I have given her tools to grow, and I honestly cannot imagine how much different our lives would be without my share of drought; and with that I have honestly learned what I need. Now all I have to do is make sure I teach her.